The one in which I discuss paranoia.
I'm a paranoid person.
I don't know why that is. I have never been attacked. I've nver been raped or sexually abused. But I still want to learn hand to hand combat. I still want to own and know how to use a gun.(I am trained. I don't own one yet.) I still want to carry around a knife in my pocket. (And I do.) I still hold my keys between my pointer and middle finger so just in case someone attacked me, I would have a chance of sticking the key in their eye. When I get in the car, I always check in the backseat. When my parents leave me home alone, I check all the locks.
And it's not that I'm a scared little girl. Really, I'm not. When I would walk places in the dark with my friends, they would squeal and spin around and act all scared while I would just watch and make sure my knife and phone were within reach. I don't have any reason to be cautious. But I am.
I guess it's because my sister always taught me that if you let yourself become a victim, you will be. And I am determined not to be anyone's victim. Sometimes I even wish someone would try something on me instead of some little scared girl so they could get what they fucking deserve from me.
But nothing ever happens to me. And yet I am still cautious. Strange how that works.
In a sudden change of subject, I am UBER excited about the Harry Potter movie coming out this month and the Chronicles of Narnia movie coming out next month. I have read all of the Harry Potter and all of the Chronicles of Narnia books over and over and over, and I cannot wait to see them in movie form.
Night
-Maverick