The one in which I have no friends.
I have no friends. I don't want to be dramatic, but I really don't. I have people that I hang out with at church. kids that I enjoy the company of, and laugh with, but no real friends. I have no one to call when I'm crying or just having a frustrating day. I have no one who I hang out with just because. I have no one to go to movies with, unless you count my parents.
In the last place where i lived, I had so many friends. I hung out every day with my friends. We went to movies, went to each others houses, went to parties, to the pool, and sometimes just on errands with our parents to just have an excuse to be with each other.
I'm starting to learn how to depend on myself. And I'm not sure if I like that or not. In one respect, I like it. I have my life together, I feel accomplished. I have a lot of time to catch up on reading. But in another respect I hate it. I have my life together, but I have no one to share that life with. No one to call and laugh with.
And I don't want a boyfriend, but as I stated in a previous entry, I just wish I had guyfriends. I had a dream last night where I went to this concert with these three guys from church Logan, Hedley, and Cody. And after the concert we were driving around in Logan's car and we went to Wal-Mart and they dressed up in girl's clothes and I took all these pictures, and we TPed Candace's house. And it was the best dream ever. Because in the dream, I felt like I belonged. I finally had friends and we were laughing, and I trusted them.
And then I woke up.
-Maverick.