The one in which I rant and want to stab my small group leader in the eye with a pen.
So my small group leader in church pretty much had a psychotic mental breakdown. I'm not kidding you. We were talking, and I know when we are being bad. This was not one of those time. She told us to shut up, and then she proceeded to tell us that next week was her last week and she could just jump for joy and couldn't be happier about it. And she said that she prays and asks God to make anyone who isn't ready to pay attention deathly ill so they can't come to church. "And yet you keep coming!"
I was so freaking mad, i wanted to punch her in the face. Kaitlin said she wanted to leave; Melissa looked like she might cry; I think Blair was really upset, because she's not used to people being mad at her. I think my leader was trying to get us to concentrate, but really, all it seemed like she was saying was, "Hey, I hate your guts, just thought I'd let you know." She stated that she was getting frustrated with coming to church, and made it sound like it was our fault. Because, you know, we're the devil and we're tempting her and she has no choice in the matter.
I talked to her about it afterwards. I had so much control I wanted to pat myself on the back. Seriously. I apoligized to her first, because I know I can be frustratingly talkative and outgoing. And then I told her very calmy that was she said could be taken offensively. What I really wanted to do was stab her in the eye with my pen. I just think that it's unacceptable to act like that, especially in a church situation when you are supposed to be loving and an example of God.
I talked to everyone in my group, and we were all so mad. We were basically just like, "Fuck you, if you don't want to be our leader; don't. One of the girls mentioned to an intern at the church, and he was really mad. The pastor was gone at his "off campus" small group meeting, but we talked to the assistant youth pastor, and he said that he was sorry we had to experience this, and that he hoped with wouldn't think that LPX(our youth group) found this acceptable. (We don't blame it on LPX at all.) And he said that Brother Jim (our youth pastor) would deal with it in the acceptable way. I think he was mostly sympathetic towards us, because she had comepletely alienated all of us, thouroghly. (I know that's spelled wrong. I'm too angry to care.)
And then after youth my brother went to a leaders meeting which she was at. She didn't even apoligize then, so I assume she feels perfectly okay about it. So I pretty much ignored her and talked to My brother, Wes and Lance (my brother's friends, who I totally love) the whole time. Wes could see I was mad, so he tried to cheer me up. He did kind of, but then he jokingly called me fat, and I normally wouldn't have cared but I was already at an emotional state, so I got kind of angry and threatened to stab him in the eye with a fork. I didn't. And I don't even think he knew that I was angry because what we always do is think up new ways to kill each other. But I went to the car because I just could not stand the fact that everyone was being so supportive of the fact that my leader was leaving, and she said she just didn't "have a heart for the ministry anymore." BECAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH!
But yeah, I just had a BAAAAAAAD day, and I want to smash someone's head against the sidewalk. Hard.
-Mav
(I'm sorry about the language. I usually don't curse. But I felt it was next to impossible to share exactly what I was feeling without those words.)