The one in which I work it out with God and my parents.
Wow. Last night was surreal. I was just having the same old argument with my dad. It stemmed out of something not even worth explaining. I was so mad and I laid on my bed and I was crying, and eventually I was just like, "God, I can't do this by myself. I need you to help me, I need you to deliver me." And God just brought to my mind all these things I had been doing behind my parents backs. And God was just like, "You can't just fix it. You have to actually confess to your parents what you did wrong." And I just got up right then and confessed them to my parents. They are sad, but I think we are going to work through this. And I think they know how serious I am about this.
I don't mean to be a bad person. It's like there is this person inside of me that can't stand accepting help, and can't stand not being in charge. I want to do it myself, help myself, change myself, and the truth is that I just can't. I am not capable, and God is going to have to do it for me. And I think that finally hit me for real last night. I'm tired of trying by myself to no avail. I'm tired of struggling to get everything done and never suceeding. And I'm sorry, but I don't feel guilty. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I am already forgiven, and today is a new day.
-Mav